Goodies
by CJzilla
Summary: A local Marzipan City tradition calls for a romance themed dish. Choosing a dish at random, Mung Daal's Catering Company takes a gamble. But this romantic dish is as dangerous as it is delicious, with ingredients that are irresistible to women.
1. The Forbidden Dish

Konichiwa Motherhopers. Welcome, CJzilla is your authoress. Adding another fiction to the "Chowder" roster, CJzilla aims to entertain. I use the romance thing very loosely! NOT A VALENTINE'S DAY FIC!

So, sit back and enjoy this fiction from the crazy side of CJzilla's brain...

Disclaimer: I own nothing that pertains to Cartoon Network or its show... CJzilla does own her OC "Candy" and your reviews.

As I climb to the top of the Empire State Building in a monster-parody, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Flame and or Fluff, love or hate me... Blah blah...

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Goodies

The morning was perfect, sunny and warm. The heart-shaped yellow sun reflected what was in store for the citizens of Marzipan City. Below, romance-themed parade floats dotted a corner of the city, giving just a glimpse of a festive love-struck procession to take place later on that evening. Throughout Marzipan City, people were scrambling as they prepared for the incoming festival. Our favorite culinary craftsmen of Mung Daal's Catering Company being no exception.

As we zoom in to the catering service's building, we could clearly hear the sound of pieces of paper inside of a bowl.

We find our favorite head chef Mung Daal, his Mushroom Pixie wife Truffles, the soui chef Schnitzel, the kitchen's bottomless pit of an apprentice Chowder and recently drafted southern cook Candy standing around the catering kitchen. The executive chef had his entire arm inside a deep stainless bowl, shuffling paper tickets without looking at them.

"Why are y'all doin' this again?" Candy asked, sitting on one of the counter tops as she watched her uncle-in-law Mung mix around some pieces of paper inside a bowl.

Mung smiled at his niece-in-law.

"It's for a dish," the head chef proclaimed with a smile. "It's-"

"For a _dish_?!" Chowder blurted out, his mouth watering as he looked at all the paper inside of the bowl. "What kind of dish?"

"Yeah, Mung is preparing a high-fiber paper dish," answered sarcastic Truffles before rolling her big green eyes. "For your colon."

The southern girl cocked a brow at her aunt.

"Y'all is kiddin'?" Candy asked, blinking.

Schnitzel, leaning on a counter across from the southern cook, chuckled.

"Radda ra," the soui chef went along with Truffles, as he kept a straight face at Candy.

Quieted Chowder snapped his eyes to Schnitzel.

"Don't give Schnitzel any more fiber," the kitten pointed at the soui chef. "He doesn't need to be anymore grumpy because of a big poo."

Candy and Truffles reeled with laughter at what Chowder had just said. Schnitzel's lips curled into a scowl as he cursed the kitten's innocent remark. Chowder merely blinked at him.

"What??" Chowder threw his arms in the air. "If you get anymore constipated, you'll be as nasty as Truffles."

Truffles, over her laughter, heard Chowder's comment. With the skill of a samurai warrior, the Mushroom Pixie wielded a cast-iron skillet and gave the kitten a golf-style whack with it. Candy, however had laughed so hard that she fell off of the counter she was sitting on. Mung, who was trying to stifle laughter at his wife's, soui chef's and Chowder's expense, cleared his throat.

"No, these pieces of paper are not for… (snicker, snort)… for eating," the head chef's mouth waved in a suppressed guffaw. "Today is an important Marzipan City tradition. Today is "Gooey Love Day"!"

Candy cocked her head at her step-uncle before Chowder gagged, pulling his knit hat down over his face.

"NOT AGAIN!" the kitten cried to the heavens. "WHY?"

The southern cook blinked at Chowder while the rest in the kitchen rolled their eyes.

"Chowder," Mung told his apprentice. "Gooey Love Day happens every year on _this_ day in Marzipan City. It's been tradition for the last two hundred years! What's wrong with you?"

Chowder curled into a fetal position on the floor.

"Day of great ickiness, day of great ickiness, day of great ickiness…" the kitten chanted, sucking on his thumb.

Mung, Truffles and Schnitzel sighed.

"Day of what now?" Candy asked, now very confused.

"Old Marzipan City tradition Candy dear," Truffles replied. "It is a big festival that celebrates romance and love."

Chowder moaned on the floor.

"Icky Gooey Love Day… icky love-notes… ICKY _girls_!" the kitten whined.

The head chef sighed.

"And as tradition to tradition," Mung picked up, "it is customary for one Gooey Love Day dish to be made today. Therein why I have my arm in this blow filled with razor-sharp pieces of paper. We here at Mung Daal's Catering Company participate in said tradition and this is the method I use to choose which romantic dish to prepare. As you can imagine, there are tons of amorous foods to choose from, so I leave love to chance!"

And the executive chef shuffled the paper vigorously.

"Radda radda?" Schnitzel asked.

"No, no, I lost a bet and that's why I'm married Truffles," Mung said.

"**WHAT**?!?!" Truffles blasted.

The head chef snapped his fingers.

"I lost a pretty, shiny penny in _that_ bet," Mung looked off with a thoughtful look on his face.

Truffles huffed and left the room, grumbling to herself. The executive chef spun the paper in the bowl for one last time.

"All right! I need a drum roll please!" Mung said over his shoulder as he held the bowl high above his head.

Schnitzel broke out a drum set and gave the head chef a drum roll.

"And the dish for Gooey Love Day is…." Mung dug around in bowl before yanking out a scrap of paper.

Opening the folded sliver of paper, the head chef silently read it. Everyone in the room hinged on what the executive chef was about to say.

"Oh Candy," Mung looked up with a relaxed look on his face. "Can you be a dear and go to the store for me? Our fruits and veggies are running low. Take Truffles, she can help you."

Everyone blinked at the head chef. The southern cook gave her uncle a confused expression.

"O-… Okay," Candy replied blinking. "I'll go do that."

"Thank you!" Mung chimed, a grateful smile on his face. "And take your time!"

Still confused, Candy left the kitchen for the lobby area to find Truffles. As soon as the southern girl walked out of the room, Mung shut the kitchen door firmly. Locking the door and swallowing the key, the head chef whirled around to his soui chef and apprentice.

"THE MOST FEARED DAY HAS _ARRIVED_!" Mung screeched zipping up to Schnitzel and took a hand-full of the front of his apron. "WE'RE DOOMED!"

"What?" Chowder asked.

Mung flew over to his apprentice and picked the heavy kitten clean off of the floor.

"Th-th-the d-d-d-dish!" the panicky head chef stuttered, pressing his forehead on Chowder's and looking him straight in the eye. "D-d-d-d-dOOMED!"

"Radda radda ra!" Schnitzel yanked Mung away from Chowder and slapped him. "Radda r-radda ra?!"

"Don't you tell _me_ to calm down man!" Mung slapped Schnitzel back like he was crazy.

Just then a wave of water hit both of them. Both Schnitzel and Mung looked down and saw Chowder with an empty bucket in his hands, wild look on his face and nostrils flared.

"BOTH OF YOU CALM DOWN!!!" the kitten yelled. "Or so help me… I'll DO IT AGAIN!"

Mung and Schnitzel blinked at Chowder, who was probably crazy enough for both of them.

"Radda radda," the soui chef told Mung as he let go of him.

The head chef started to hyperventilate.

"Calm down! Calm down! Calm down!" Mung chanted to himself. "Go to your happy place! I'm inside my kitchen, cooking another boring, non-deadly dish."

Mung closed his eyes and was stirring an invisible pot of soup. Schnitzel was getting tired of his boss losing it.

"Radda radda r-radda?" the soui chef asked.

The executive chef opened his eyes, but was shaking like a leaf.

"What did the paper say Mung? What dish are we doing?" Chowder rushed, bouncing up and down in excitement.

Mung started to sweat and shiver.

"It is one of the most feared dishes in the entire known universe," the executive chef peeped, looking like he'd seen a ghost. "And I pulled it out of the bowl."

The head chef held up his hand and the piece of paper with the dish's name scribbled on it. Rolling his eyes Schnitzel snatched the paper out of Mung's trembling hand. But as soon as he read what was on the paper, Schnitzel's face went a whiter shade of pale. Now both adults were acting like they'd just seen death walk through the door. Chowder, now more curious than ever walked over to Schnitzel and grabbed the paper. Opening the folded paper, the kitten read what was on it.

""Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake"?" Chowder read it. "That's it?"

At the name of the dish verbalized Mung and Schnitzel pounced on Chowder, their hands clapped over the kitten's mouth. Mung shushed him loudly as he looked warily over his shoulder.

"Shhh! Do you want _them_ to hear us?!" the head chef hissed.

"But Mung," Chowder squirmed out of their grasps. "It's just a cheesecake. There's nothing wrong with a wonderfully silky, cheesy, scrumptious…"

The kitten's mouth was watering profusely. Mung and Schnitzel knew better.

"The "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake" is no ordinary cheesecake," the executive chef gulped as Schnitzel trembled. "It's… got a huge appeal to…………. _women_!"

Mung nearly screamed. Chowder was still confused.

"Doesn't all cheesecake?" the kitten asked cocking his head.

The head chef shook his head vigorously.

"_This_ cheesecake has so much allure to the female species that women fall in love with the cake at the first whiff of it! And they will stop at nothing to get a piece of it!" Mung continued. "_NOTHING_!"

Chowder's eyes widened at Mung's display of fear.

"I once made a "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake"," the executive chef's eyes widened at the frightful memory. "It was perfectly done. It was silky smooth on your tongue, the chocolate balanced out perfectly and the crust was extraordinarily buttery. But it wasn't long until… _they_ smelt it! I had an army of women storming my kitchen. I had to make a decision. I either held onto the cheesecake and watch the women tear apart my kitchen or give up my perfectly cooked "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake"."

"What did you do Mung?" Chowder asked, eyes wide as if he was listening to a horror story.

Mung gulped.

"I had no choice but to eat it," the head chef swallowed hard.

Chowder gasped and pulled his knit hat down over his eyes.

"Radda radda radda!" Schnitzel rushed, scared out of his mind.

"Y-yeah! We could just forget about the "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake" and do something else!" Mung said quickly. "I won't tell if you don't tell Schnitzel!"

"Radda!" Schnitzel nodded.

"Wait Mung," Chowder stepped in front of Mung. "We can't just do another dish! We have to do this cheesecake! We'd be going against tradition if we didn't!"

The head chef looked at his apprentice with shock.

"_NOW_ you decide to go with tradition?! You _hate_ Gooey Love Day!" Mung told Chowder. "Who cares if we don't do this recipe?! I sure as heck don't!"

"Radda!" Schnitzel agreed.

"But a good chef always finishes a dish," Chowder said, plucking Mung's heart cords. "I wanna be a good chef Mung, I really do."

Chowder gave the executive chef the puppy-dog pout. Mung fell for the dreaded puppy pout. Schnitzel looked between the head chef and Chowder.

"Radda radda radda!" the soui chef snapped his fingers in front of Mung's face. "Radda ra!"

"Chowder does have a point Schnitzel," Mung told his soui chef.

Schnitzel looked at his boss like he'd just sprouted another head.

"RADDA RADDA RA!!" the soui chef carried on.

Mung nodded.

"I know the danger of this dish," the executive Chef nodded. "But we have honor! We are Mung Daal's Catering Company! The name stands for excellence!... The name… not you guys."

Schnitzel and Chowder rolled their eyes.

"And we shall cook this dish! Even if it KILLS US!" Mung proclaimed.

The soui chef slapped his forehead.

"Radda!" Schnitzel groaned falling to his knees.

Mung slapped his soui chef between his shoulder blades.

"Don't worry Schnitzel," the executive chef beamed. "We'll leave out a couple key ingredients. It won't taste right but we'll be safe from a female invasion."

Schnitzel stood, feeling just a little safer.

"What?" Chowder asked. "We're leaving out key ingredients? Mung, that's not right."

Mung walked to his recipe shelf and pulled out a pink book with red letters reading: "Loving Foods". Blowing a cloud of ancient dust off of the hardback, Mung opened the book. As he paged through the book the head chef walked over to Schnitzel and Chowder.

"These-," Mung opened the book and held to Chowder's nose, "are the ingredients that make the "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake" irresistible to women."

One page was divided into two pictures of ingredients accompanied by captions. There was a big glossy picture of a fancy looking bottle and an unexciting looking jar of something. Chowder squinted as he read the captions under each picture.

""Liquid concentrated essence of… Belchen choco-licious cacao beans"…" the kitten read slowly.

Chowder blinked at the other caption under the bottle.

"And… "Unscented _Bark_ Extract of a Hairy Rose Plant, clear"?" the kitten winced as Schnitzel and Mung trembled. "_Bark_? As in that brown stuff that is on the outside of a tree?? That bark?"

The head chef snapped the book close.

"Yes," Mung gulped. "Alone those two ingredients are harmless, but combined _together_… they become something that is overwhelmingly alluring to the female gender. The Belchen cacao beans and the Hairy Rose bark coupled with the rest of the required ingredients create a cheesecake that will get any woman's attention!"

"Do we have the caca beans or the hairy bark?" the kitten asked.

The executive chef passed a wary glance at a cobweb-covered spice cabinet with a heavy chain and bullet-proof lock around it, hanging in a dark corner of the kitchen.

"Those two ingredients are in that cabinet," Mung pointed. "I haven't used either of those accursed items in my cooking since my first "Whole Lotta True Love Chocolate Cheesecake". And I plan on keeping it that way!"

"Radda!" Schnitzel agreed.

In a flash, Chowder was over at the forbidden cabinet.

"Hey Mung!" the kitten cheered pointing at it. "Can I see the Belchen caca beans and the hairy bark?"

Mung tossed a harmless oven-mitt with such force that when it hit Chowder in the face, he was blasted off of his feet.

"NEVER!" the head chef blasted. "Those two things are far too dangerous even for warfare! There's no way I'm gonna let you touch them!"

And of course Chowder had to touch them. Getting to his feet the kitten passed a glance back at the cabinet.

"Can I just-?" Chowder began before another oven-mitt was hurled across the room and beaned him in the face.

"NO!" Mung shot back. "Don't touch, look or even smell it! In fact, you are forbidden to THINK about those two cursed ingredients! CLEAR?!"

Chowder frowned, an oven-mitt-shaped indentation on his fuzzy face.

"Fine," he relented.

""Fine" _what_?" Mung barked from across the room.

"I won't even think about it," Chowder recited, rolling his eyes.

"Good!" the head chef said. "Now get a broom and clean up that corner. The cobwebs have to be as old as I am."

Schnitzel laughed before the soui chef got hit in the face with an oven-mitt.

Obeying, Chowder sulked over to get the broom. Passing the boring broom over the floor, the chef's apprentice began making a pile. As he was bending over and held the dustpan to scoop up the cobweb dust-bunnies, Chowder's broom handle ever so slightly tapped the forbidden cabinet. In a poof of millennia-old dust, the heavy chain and bullet-proof lock around the cabinet disintegrated. The kitten's eyes widened as the cabinet's door opened seductively, only giving him a peek of something shiny.

Passing a wary glance over his shoulder at Mung and Schnitzel, Chowder saw that the adults were too busy to notice what he was doing. With a well-intentioned and curious finger, the kitten opened the cabinet further. There was a brown, shiny and slender bottle with the words "Unscented Hairy Rose Bark Extract" in fancy red letters. Beside it was a white jar with brown letters on it reading: "Liquidized Concentrated Essence of Belchen Choco-licious Cacao Beans".

Chowder had to know more.

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R&R. Long live Rock! 


	2. Candy Coated Schnitzel and Mung Truffles

Hola Motherhopers. Here's chapter 2 of my "Goodies" creation. I came up with that name after hearing Ciara's song "Goodies", which has nothing to do with this fic other than the inspiration for the title. (CJzilla shrugs) Cool!

Now, in this chapter, you will find out the danger of this dish...

As I tear through a city near you, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R MOTHERHOPERS! Flame or fluff, don't care...

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Tucking the ingredients into his shirt, Chowder picked up the dustpan. After ditching the cleaning implements, the kitten made his way over to a quiet area of the kitchen. As casually and as innocent as he could, Chowder passed Mung and Schnitzel. Taking a seat at the dining table Chowder retrieved the bottle and jar from his shirt, he set them before him.

Carefully studying the containers and reciting what would happen to him if Mung found out that he was playing with these things, Chowder decided to open them… For… _science_ sake.

Twisting the jar of Belchen choco-licious cacao beans concentrate open, the kitten first smelled the old ingredient. A strong, strong, inviting, enticing, irresistible smell of chocolate hit Chowder in the face, making his Salvatore glands shift into turbo. Not able to resist it, he began shoving handfuls of it into his mouth.

With the Belchen choco-licious cacao beans concentrate gone, the chocolate covered kitten burped. His attention turned to the "Unscented Hairy Rose Bark Extract" bottle. Quietly popping the cork out of the bottle, Chowder leaned forward and stuck his nose on the mouth of the bottle. The kitten took a huge whiff. Nothing. Wondering if there was any ingredient in the bottle, Chowder took it in his paws. Rolling out his tongue and turning it ever so slightly, the kitten saw a clear liquid slosh around before a drop of it formed at the bottle's mouth. Careful to tip it but only to get a drop, Chowder got a taste sensation that baffled him. The bark tasted like… nothing. Not a good kind of nothing like water, but a nasty type of nothing like an old person's fart.

Scrunching his nose, the kitten gagged. In doing so he accidentally dumped the nasty Hairy Bark Extract all over the table. Eye wide, with the ingredient now running over the table, Chowder ran to get a kitchen cloth. Grabbing one in Schnitzel's back pocket, the kitten ran back to the puddle of Hairy Bark Extract. After soaking the clear liquid up, Chowder returned it to Schnitzel.

"Here you go," Schnitzel heard Chowder tell him.

Looking down from stirring another block of cream cheese into the cheesecake batter the soui chef saw _his_ kitchen towel in the kitten's hands. Cocking an eyebrow at Chowder but not saying anything, Schnitzel took it and whipped his brow and the raw cheesecake batter off of his hands. The soui chef heard a strain of effort from Mung. The executive chef's face was covered in vanilla extract as he held a measuring teaspoon in his hands.

"Nuts," Mung groaned taking off his vanilla extract-covered glasses. "I hate it went it comes out fast like that. Hey Schnitzel, hand me something to wipe my face with."

Rolling his eyes but holding in a laugh, Schnitzel gave his boss _his_ kitchen towel. Mung passed the cloth over his glasses then over his face and neck. Placing his glasses back onto his eyes, Mung had to re-measure the vanilla extract.

"At first, I thought vanilla extract could be taken out of this recipe," the head chef began to ramble. "But the finished dish just isn't the same without it…"

As Mung talked on and on, Chowder came wandering back into the kitchen in search of Schnitzel's kitchen cloth. The Belchen choco-licious cacao beans concentrate was getting sticky and uncomfortable on the kitten's face. Seeing no kitchen towel in sight, Chowder did what any kid would do… Walking up to Schnitzel and taking a handful of the soui chef's apron, the kitten cleaned his hands. Then, he walked over to Mung and passed his face over the back of the executive chef's shirt.

"Chowder?" Mung asked feeling Chowder clean his face on the back of his shirt. "What are you doing?"

"My face is sticky and I just whipped my mouth on yours and Schnitzel's shirt," the kitten answered in all innocence.

"Oh radda!" Schnitzel groaned as he saw Chowder's chocolately paw prints on his white apron.

Mung hid his nausea better.

"Chowder," the head chef began. "What have I told you about whipping your face on our clothes?"

The kitten thought for a second.

"To not to," he answered.

"What is on your face anyway?" Mung asked.

Fear came to Chowder's face before he lied.

"Something brown… that I got off the internet…" the kitten answered.

Not putting it passed Chowder, Mung's face twisted with disgust.

"All right…" the head chef drawled. "Just don't get it on the cheesecake."

Chowder couldn't believe he bought it. It looks like everyone got away Scott-free! But in whipping his face and hands on his fellow chefs, Chowder had just mixed the cacao beans with the bark extract on his, Mung's and Schnitzel's clothes.

The boys didn't notice anything weird but they had just become inadvertently, overwhelmingly, enticingly irresistible.

Candy and Truffles never left for the store. Instead, the girls got a little suspicious about the sudden shopping trip Mung ordered.

"There's no way we're outta fruits or veggies!" the Mushroom Pixie snarled. "Mung's head has gone to mush. We just went shopping yesterday!... Maybe Chowder ate it all…"

"That's what Uncle Mung said," the southern cook shrugged.

"Candy darling," Truffles voiced, easing her hand on the kitchen's door knob, "Mung loses his mind sometimes. Expect that."

Giving her aunt a weird look, Candy watched her Mushroom Pixie relative jiggle the door knob. When it didn't open, Truffles growled.

"MUNG DAAL!" she pounded on the door with a fist. "Open this door at once!"

Waiting for a second, the impatient pixie-lady pounded on the door.

"I mean it Mung!" Truffles snarled. "Open the door or I'm gonna get mad!"

Just then they heard the locks on the kitchen's door unlock. The door opened and Chowder stood on the other side of the door.

" 'Bout time!" Truffles growled and fluttered into the kitchen.

Candy followed after patting Chowder on the head. Truffles' eyes darted around the room before they came to her husband. Snarling with the ferocity of a tiger ten times her size, the Mushroom Pixie zipped over to Mung.

"You are certifiable!" Truffles blasted at her husband. "We-… I…-!"

At that moment the fusion of the Belchen choc-licious cacao beans extract and the Hairy Rose Bark extract on Mung Daal's clothes took its effect on the Mushroom Pixie. Mung's eyes widened at the incoming argument, not knowing how much MORE danger he was in.

"Y-y-y-yes, honey pop?" the head chef peeped.

But the Truffles stopped short, simply starring at her husband before she cocked her head at him before.

"Did you just dip yourself in sugar?" the Mushroom Pixie asked, her arms folded.

The executive chef gulped.

"Uh… no…. W-w-why?" Mung asked expecting his throat to be in Truffles' hands.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE LOOKIN' SO SWEET!" Truffles blurted out, tackling her husband.

Schnitzel was used to Truffles' outward displays of anger but was in no way prepared for the Mushroom Pixie tackling Mung Daal in a show of affection. Even though there was a kitchen island between him and the couple, the soui chef jumped back.

"Oh _RADDA_!!" Schnitzel snarled out of disgust, THAT being one of the things he could have lived without seeing. "Radda radda ra!"

When his words did nothing to quell the hot-blooded couple, Schnitzel's face twisted to absolute repulsion.

"RADDA RADDA RA-RADDA RADDA!" the soui chef blasted, threatening Mung and Truffles with a dousing of water to separate them.

Still nothing from his boss and his boss's wife. An indescribable feeling of being too grossed out to puke circled the room.

Schnitzel reached for a jug of water when he too was tackled. Tumbling to the floor, the soui chef opened his eyes when the world came to a stop. To Schnitzel's glee/horror/embarrassment there was Candy on top of him with an extremely delighted look on her face.

Little did the soui chef know that the southern cook was a victim to the bark extract and cacao bean concentrate mixture all over his clothes and skin.

"Radda?" Schnitzel peeped, thinking Candy had just fallen and took him down with her.

But that did nothing to wipe that overly gleeful look off of the southern cook's face.

"Well, don't y'all look good today Schnitzel!" Candy cheered.

Blinking at her, Schnitzel wasn't ready for her next move. The southern cook kissed him. Dazed and confused the soui chef's eyes widened. But because he wasn't a rude person, (wink, wink) Schnitzel did nothing to stop the amorous Candy.

Chowder, on the other hand, was absolutely horrified.

"THE GIRLS HAVE GONE MAD!!" the kitten cried at the top of his lungs. "CURSE YOU GOOEY LOVE DAY MADNESS! _**CURSE YOU**_!"

Candy let go of Schnitzel's lips and starred down at him.

"Y'all are so delicious!" she chirped happily.

The soui chef gave the southern cook a goofy smile. But he was in for SO much danger.

"In fact," Candy added, smiling sweetly, "y'all is _SO_ delicious…"

Basking in the attention he was getting from the southern belle Schnitzel, caught something shiny in Candy's hand. The next thing the soui chef knew there was a fork skewered on the floor, _inches_ from his head.

"…That I want a piece of y'all!" Candy grinned down at him, her hand on the fork.

Schnitzel's eyes darted from Candy to the fork. The love-struck soui chef thought it was some sort of southern sweet talk, not in a million years did he think Candy was being literal. The southern cook pulled the skewered fork from the floor and raised it above her head, Jack the Ripper style. Schnitzel's eyes widened and he scrambled out from under Candy before she brought that fork down.

"Radda radda radda radda?!" the soui chef barked as Candy rose to her feet.

Candy's loving affectionate expression was replaced by a literal _hungry_ ardent look. Flipping the fork in her hand, the southern cook was still smiling as she began to stalk toward Schnitzel.

"Just _one_, lil' ol' nibble," Candy grinned innocently.

The soui chef's eyes were wide as he began to back away from the psycho southern cook.

"_YOW_!" came a cry of pain from Mung.

Leaping out from behind the kitchen island, the executive chef clamored onto Schnitzel's head.

"Truffles poked me with a _fork_!" Mung cried at his soui chef pointing toward his wife.

"Oh _radda_!" the soui chef hissed in disgust at his boss's appearance, shutting his eyes hard.

Schnitzel tried to shake off the gross thoughts that followed when he saw Mung's clothes disheveled, his shirt partially unbuttoned, his glasses all akimbo and his hair a mess. Truffles emerged from behind the island.

"Now, baby," the head chef said sweetly to his wife. "When you said you wanted a piece of me, I didn't think you'd-"

Then Truffles threw a fork at her husband, the eating utensil passing through his tuff of thinning white hair and skewering the wall behind him.

"GOOD GRAPES TRUFFLES!" Mung blasted. "_That_ could have been my head!"

The head chef's mouth snapped close when he saw Candy and Truffles standing shoulder to shoulder, forks in their hands and their mouth watering.

"Y'all look _good_," the southern cook salivated.

"Yes, _very_ good," the Mushroom Pixie agreed, licking her lips.

Mung and Schnitzel's eyes widened at the hungry looks on the girls' faces.

"-Good enough… to _eat_," Candy and Truffles said in unison taking one foreboding step forward.

The girls' words echoed through the kitchen.

"Holy mustard!" Mung whispered in fear. "Schnitzel! _THEY MEAN IT_!!"

At that moment Schnitzel's back hit the wall. With the executive chef and soui chef pinned, with no where to go, the love-hungry women advanced, their forks poised for a feast. Just then, saving Mung's and Schnitzel's lives, Chowder threw two slomatoes, beaning Candy and Truffles upside their heads.

"You can't just _EAT_ them!" the kitten flailed his arms in the air. "-Without the proper seasonings _first_!"

"Hey!" Mung shouted back.

"Ra!" Schnitzel frowned.

But then Truffles and Candy turned their zombie-like hunger towards Chowder, the Belchen cacao beans and Hairy Rose Bark extract mixture taking its effect on them again.

"So cute! We could just _eat_ y'all up!" the southern cook grinned sweetly, pulling a pie-server out of a drawer.

"So maybe we _will_," Truffles smiled.

In a feat of speed no one thought possible, Candy dove at the kitten, her pie spatula ready to "serve" Chowder. Chowder gave a scream before he darted out of the way. The southern cook smashed into the crate of slomatoes Chowder had been standing on.

"Run! RUN!" Mung shouted.

Schnitzel, with Mung still clinging to his head, took to his heels. Chowder caught up. Since the flesh-hungry girls were blocking the doorway to the hosting area, the boys had only one nearby way of escape. Chowder, Mung and Schnitzel dove into the kitchen's pantry. Scrambling to lock the food cupboard's door, the boys backed as far away from the door as they could.

Pressed into the many canned goods, bagged goods and other food piled on the shelves, Chowder, Schnitzel and Mung huddled together like sardines. Switching on the pantry's only light source, a low-watt hanging light, the boys regrouped.

* * *

R&R. This fic will be updated randomly. LONG LIVE ROCK! 


	3. Fast Food

Hola Motherhopers. Took the week and a half off. Now I'm uploading the next installment into "Goodies".

RUN MUNG, SCHNITZEL AND CHOWDER! RUN!

As I tear across an industrial park and adding to my radioactive mutation, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R MOTHERHOPERS! Flame and or Fluff.

* * *

"Great Sandwiches!" Mung gasped, buttoning up his chef's shirt. "What's into them?!"

"_Us_ apparently," Chowder stated, a morbid look on his face.

"I know _I'm_ the greatest gift to woman-kind, but this is takin' it a little too far," the head chef commented straightening his glasses.

As those words left his mouth, the pantry doors rattled under Candy and Truffles' force.

"Radda radda radda!" Schnitzel exclaimed, pressing himself harder into the pantry shelves. "Radda radda?"

"I didn't _DO_ anything!" Mung shot back. "I dunno what's wrong with Truffles and Candy! The only other time I saw women like this is when I made that "Whole Lotta True Love Cheesecake"!"

A realization silence cut through the small pantry.

"CHOWDER!" Mung blasted.

"RADDA!" Schnitzel joined his boss at yelling at the kitten.

Just then a knife pierced one of the pantry's doors.

"I told you not to touch that cabinet!" Mung was trying to scold Chowder, but his haul over the coals sounded more like a scared whimper. "Why? Why did you disobey me?!"

"I didn't mean to!" Chowder begged. "I was just sweeping around the cabinet when the lock and chain disintegrated. I didn't mean to eat all the caca beans! Or spill the hair bark!"

"Radda radda ra?!" Schnitzel barked as the knife was pried from the pantry's doors.

"Then why are me an' Schnitzel on the menu too?!" Mung asked.

"Remember the brown stuff on my face? That was that caca stuff!" Chowder gulped as a meat cleaver hit the pantry doors. "I used Schnitzel's kitchen towel to soak up the spilled nasty bark stuff! I didn't mean to!"

"WHAT?!" Mung cried. "It's on our _bodies_?! Those accursed ingredients are on our _bodies_?! The girls are gonna try to EAT us now! Our _bodies_!! Just in case you don't know… that's gonna be unpleasant!"

There was a silence that was full of anger.

"Radda radda radda ra!" Schnitzel snarled, picking Chowder up.

"NO! We will not humor the girls' behavior by giving Chowder as a sacrifice! Put him down Schnitzel," Mung interjected, thus saving Chowder's life.

Schnitzel put the kitten down.

"How we gonna get outta here Mung?" Chowder asked. "There only enough air in here for the next couple seconds!"

With that Chowder flopped onto the floor, gasping for air. The executive chef and soui chef glanced at each other then back at the gasping Chowder.

"Chowder, we have plenty of air," Mung stated, eyebrow cocked at his apprentice.

The kitten jumped up from the floor.

"That's good," Chowder said. "But we don't have enough food in here! We'll starve! I'll have to eat you guys, and pick my teeth with your bones!"

Schnitzel and Mung cringed.

"I can't go hungry!" Chowder zipped onto Mung and starred him in the eye. "I'm allergic to hunger!"

With that he started nibbling on the head chef's hand. Mung smacked Chowder with his free hand.

"Don't start doing what Truffles and Candy want to do to us!" the executive chef wagged his finger Chowder's face. "We'll get outta here! Just let me think-"

But before anyone could think, a crowbar busted through the door and began to pry apart the lock.

"Radda radda!" Schnitzel trembled, hearing the wooden door give way under the crowbar's pressure.

"Here's a totally _new_ idea…" Mung gestured.

With that he got a run at the door. The executive chef busted down the doors, flattening a crazed Candy and Truffles.

"RUN!" the head chef exclaimed, scrambling toward the exit.

Chowder and Schnitzel followed Mung's lead. The three boys sprinted toward the door, screaming like little girls.

"Where y'all goin'?" Candy called at them, scraping herself off the floor. "We're hungry fo' more!"

With that the southern cook and Truffles took off after their "food items".

Busting out of the catering company doors, Schnitzel, Chowder and Mung whipped their heads around, trying to find an escape route.

"Split up!" Mung told his crew.

"Radda radda ra!" Schnitzel returned, hands in the air.

"Yeah! We'll get picked off one by one! We need to stay together!" Chowder replied.

"Fine! We'll just become a buffet! They'll first eat my feet, then go for your chubby little cheeks and then Schnitzel's sausage fingers!"

"I hope you mean my face!" Chowder gasped, getting caught up in the moment.

Then a potato peeler rocketed through the air and shaved off Chowder's sweater at the chest. Craning around the boys saw Candy and Truffles emerge from the darkness of the catering building. The Mushroom Pixie held a soup spoon in her hand while the southern cook held a pair of salad tongs in her grip.

"Whaddya think Auntie?" Candy asked Truffles. "Should I go for a piece of Chowder or a heapin' helpin' of Schnitzel?"

"I'm going for Mung," Truffles returned. "Leave me some Schnitzel."

The conversation would be awkward under normal circumstances but in this context, Schnitzel, Chowder, and Mung's eyes widened in pure terror.

"RhhhUUUUN!" Mung cried.

The three boys sprinted down the road, running for their dear, delicious lives! Truffles and Candy hot on their heels. The chase went on for many blocks. Then in a desperate move, that ultimately landed them in HOTTER water, the trio ran through the Marzipan City Market.

"We needa find a place where there are NO women!" Mung hollered back at Chowder and Schnitzel.

"The Library! The gym! That dumpster!" Chowder rattled off as they booked it.

Just then the executive chef, soui chef and apprentice booked it through the market.

"Radda radda ra-ra!" Schnitzel was more helpful.

"Good idea Schnitz!" Mung cheered. "The sporting goods store! There's no women there!"

With a destination in mind, the three culinary craftsmen changed course, toward the mall.

But in looking back at Schnitzel and Chowder, Mung ran straight into his worst nightmare. Hitting a cushy yet immobile something in a full-long sprint, the head chef found himself flat on his back. Schnitzel and Chowder skidded to a stop, seeing that their boss had fallen.

"HEY!" Mung blasted clearing the stars from his eyes. "WE'RE RUNNIN' FOR OUR LIVES HERE! Move your big, buttery butt out of-!"

But the executive chef's eyes nearly busted out of his glasses when he saw who he just slammed into. There was Ms. Endive of Ms. Endive's Fine Foods, a.k.a., Mung's catering rival, with her apprentice Panini in the market… Go figure. The woman as nasty as a monster trashing Tokyo looked even angrier now that her catering opponent had insulted her butt.

"Hi Chowder!" Panini cried waving like an idiot as soon as she saw the purplish kitten.

Though he had been running for about eight city blocks, Chowder caught enough breath to rebuke the boyfriend-crazy pink bunny, kitten.

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!" Chowder blasted back.

Mung sat up, his eyes wide, fear still pumping through his body. Endive snorted.

"You look even more ridiculous than usual Mung Daal," the female chef stuck her big nose in the air, just before the cacao beans and bark extract took their effect. "Running from your own food, _again_?"

_That_ made Mung momentarily forget that he was being pursued like some sorry prey item.

"I've never run from my cooking _Endive_!!" he snarled hopping to his feet and pointing at the woman. "I run from _YOUR_ cookin'-!"

"YOU'D LOOK EXCELLENT BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF MY POUNDCAKE!!" Endive suddenly cheered.

Mung was barely able to sidestep the large woman before she dove at him.

"_OH_!" he cringed, totally sickened. "Woman! You _nasty_! There's _not_ enough alcohol in the _world_-!"

The executive chef managed to choke that out when a butter knife flew through the air like a ninja shuriken and cut clean through his shoe, though just harmlessly between Mung's toes.

"Radda!" Mung heard Schnitzel shout at him.

Mung craned his head around. In a lethal stampede Candy and Truffles were thundering through the market place, love-hungry looks on their faces. He let out a little girl scream and jumped to his feet.

"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO DELICIOUS??!" Mung cried and took to his heels like a scared turkey, the butter knife clanking when he ran.

Screaming like a banshee, Mung darted between Schnitzel and Chowder, who were standing there dumb-founded. The two followed Mung's example. They ran. Needless to say, the whole scene got the boys the whole attention of the market-place… and all the females' eyes rested on the delicious trio as they scrambled through the public area.

Women from all directions smelt the cacao beans and bark extract on Mung, Schnitzel and Chowder's bodies. Joining Candy, Truffles, Endive and Panini, love-hungry females formed a carnivorous river after the three boys.

Looking back, Chowder saw that about twenty more women were after them.

"WE'RE _**DEAD**_!" the kitten cried.

"OKAY!" Mung shouted angrily over his shoulder. "So maybe a short-cut through the market wasn't the _best_ idea!"

"RADDA _radda_ radda ra-ra _radda_!" Schnitzel snarled smacking his boss upside the head as he ran along side him.

"We'll place blame later! JUST RUN!!" Mung ordered and poured on the steam. "RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE YET DELICIOUS LIVES!!!"

* * *

Short, I's know. R&R. LONG LIVE ROCK! 


	4. Mall Madness

Ohayo Tokyo! Konban wa New York! Konnichiwa London! CJzilla here hammering out another chapter to my "Chowder" fic! It's been a while, I know. I had to finish up this other fic for "Kappa Mikey". Yeah, took it as a promise to another FanFiction Land author. And now CJzilla's sayin' that she will never do that again...

Okay... In this chapter you'll see Chowder, Mung and Schnitzel runnin' through the mall and the mayhem that follows them as they split up...

As I rock this city down to its foundation, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R MOTHERHOPERS! Hate on me and/or love on me... I don't care.

The trio booked as fast as their little legs could carry them. Thankfully most of the women were slow runners… slow in the context that their fingertips were just touching their bodies.

As couples walking a Marzipan City street on this lovey-dovey day, hand in hand, their love-struck stares were torn from one another when they heard blood-curdling screams of pure terror. Looking up and then down the street, the pairs caught sight of the cause of the screaming. And what a sight to see.

Two men and one kitten/bear/boy being pursued by a veritable army of women like they were the last chocolate bonbon on the face of the planet. It wasn't long until the army was taking new love-hungry female recruits, much to the dismay of their boyfriends and/or husbands as the three contaminated boys ran down the street.

"We'll never make it!" Chowder cried as he glanced back at the swarm of women following them.

"Don't look back Chowder!" Mung called back. "It's the same principle as never looking down! You gotta keep a level head while-"

But then Mung couldn't help but look back. The head chef gave a girly shriek.

"THEY'LL NEVER FIND OUR REMAINS!!" Mung screamed.

"Radda! Radda!" Schnitzel pointed at the horizon.

Beaming like an immobile savoir, there was the Marzipan City Mall.

"Pour on all you got boys!" Mung called out. "We're almost there!"

Chowder, Mung and Schnitzel put the last of their energy into the next few sprints.

Flying into the building, their sudden burst of speed putting more distance between them and the mob of women, the three culinary craftsmen came to a halt. Zipping around the entrance they tore benches off of the floor, potted plants and even a new car parked on display in the mall and barricaded the doors. Not a moment too soon because a wave of women hit the glass doors with such a force that the Plexiglas bowed and strained under the pressure.

Gawking at the strength these women possessed as even the car was beginning to rock, that's when it hit the three boys as to the severity of their situation.

No one could really tell how many women were in that mob, but they sure as heck outnumbered Chowder, Schnitzel and Mung.

"Holy condiments!" Mung flinched at seeing his love-hungry wife wink and blow kisses at him as she passionately beat on the Mall's doors. "It's like they don't care why or how, but they gotta have a piece of us!"

"Radda radda ra-ra-radda ra!" Schnitzel flailed his arms.

Mung spun to his soui chef.

"Schnitzel's right!" the head chef nodded. "We gotta strategize!"

There was a bang and Chowder, Mung and Schnitzel craned around. Now a group of the women had torn down one of the Mall's decorative trees and was now slamming it into the barricaded doors.

"Strategize-shmatizize!" Mung took off running again. "RUN!"

Chowder and Schnitzel let out girly screams as they ran with their boss. They were still heading toward the sporting good store.

Once inside, the three split up. Mung took off to the hunting supplies, Chowder hid in the sports shoe department, while Schnitzel took of to the sports equipment.

Mung found himself inside the spacious hunting department. Surrounded by survival gear, it was in the forefront of the head chef's mind to stay alive. With their dumb luck, the three contaminated boys just _HAD_ to run through the clothing, shoe and hair stylists sections of the mall to get to the sports store. Now that he thought back on that decision, Mung figured that they just put themselves into _even_ hotter water.

With disembodied and stuffed animal heads hanging overhead, Mung did his best to remain silent as he tip-toed through the many aisles.

It was scary… the hungry women. Mung sure as heck didn't mind women in the slightest and under different, non-cannibalistic circumstances, the head chef would be more than happy to slather honey all over himself and dive into a crowd of women. But at this point, honey would only make him all the more appetizing. The last thing he wanted was to be _eaten_ by his wife and step-niece.

Sneaking silently through an aisle of animal calling tools, Mung was almost sure that he gave his wife and Endive the slip… how wrong he was.

As he crept along, a whisk rocketed through the air, so close to Mung's head that it clipped off a portion of his mustache. The whisk was shot at such a velocity that it pierced a glass watch display case at the end of the aisle. Mung jumped ten feet in the air before he whirled around to his attacker. At what he saw, Mung nearly puked.

"I was never much for your cooking Mung Daal," Endive grinned at her rival with a bow and a fish fork loaded into its string, pointing straight at him. "But I've always thought you looked delicious."

A scowl of disgust overpowered the fear on his face as Mung held out his hands.

"N-n-now Endive!" the head chef stammered. "This is _Mung Daal_ you're talking about! Your arch-catering rival… You wouldn't want to taint your palate with me because... uh… I haven't showered in a week! I just ate a raw onion! I fell into an open sewer! I… I'm tough and gamy!"

With that Mung began nibbling on his own arm to prove his point. But that didn't slate Endive's interested stare as she pulled back the string of her bow.

"You're all ready perfect Mung Daal," she smiled. "I'll take you on a silver platter."

All color drained from Mung's face when he saw that fish fork's aim settle between his eyes. But before the hungry-looking Ms. Endive could release her culinary weapon, something above Mung jumped off of a stuffed animal head. In a blur of pink and green, Truffles landed in front of her husband. With the speed of lightning and the skill of a ninja centuries younger than her, the Mushroom Pixie shot a fish scalar at Endive. The cooking utensil sliced through Ms. Endive's bow string, rendering the weapon useless.

As Endive's face exploded with surprise, Truffles exposed a handful of cooking implements.

"Mungy's not hopping on any silver platter of yours, _Endive_!" the Mushroom Pixie threatened with a handful of silverware.

"Truffles!" Mung cheered, seeming to forget that minuets before his wife was trying to _EAT_ him.

"That is for me to do and _only_ me!" Truffles glared at Endive.

The large, big-nosed woman narrowed her eyes at the Mushroom Pixie.

"I want a piece of him," Endive dropped her bow and arrow and placed her hands behind her back. "You won't be able to stop me you floating fungus!"

Truffles gave a big challenging smile.

"There's not going to be anything left of Mungy once I'm through with him," the Mushroom Pixie returned. "And I'd like to see you try to get through me."

Endive gave a smile at Truffles' challenge.

"Gladly," she returned.

Whipping out her hands from behind her back Endive exposed a barbecue sauce brush and a rolling pin. Truffles' eyes narrowed and she took a fighting stance. With a culinary warrior scream, the two women dove into each other, swinging their weapons.

Mung stood there love-struck, tongue hanging out of his head as the two women beat themselves senseless.

"What a woman," he gawked before a paring knife zipped through the air.

That was the first time Truffles had come to his rescue and it was quite the amorous gesture. But not to stick around and become the main course for the victor, Mung took off deeper into the hunting department. He could only hope Chowder and Schnitzel were doing better than he was.

Meanwhile, in the sporting goods department…

Schnitzel dodged another soccer ball hurled at MOK4 as he ran through an aisle full of field-sports equipment. Why did he get the girls with the good aim and wicked throwing skills? At least only about three girls had managed to find him… that he saw.

Taking the corner to the next aisle pretty hard, Schnitzel skidded and dashed for the next aisle. Not caring where he was running just as long as he got out of the throwing girl's range, Schnitzel tore down an empty aisle. As he took another corner sharp a volley of golf balls nearly made Swiss cheese out of the soui chef.

Taking cover behind a cardboard cutout of a hokey goalie, Schnitzel remained silent as the throwing girl combed her surroundings with her eyes. Then with a frustrated snort she took off again. Schnitzel breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe if he kept this cardboard goalie with him, he could be camouflaged and get out of here without being seen.

As he was backing up, cardboard goalie in hand, Schnitzel heard an eerily familiar giggle.

"Hiya Schnitzel!" came a cheery southern belle voice.

Stunned, the soui chef whirled around and dropped his camouflage. To Schnitzel's surprise there was Candy, with a hokey mask over her pretty features. It was like some sick parody from a popular horror movie!

"Radda?" Schnitzel peeped, taking a timid step back.

Candy giggled, lifting up the hokey mask on her face, revealing a sweet southern smile.

"Y'all still lookin' finger lickin' good Schnitz," the southern cook beamed then gave another giggle. "But y'all look tasty all the time to me."

That comment made Schnitzel give a wavy, shy smile before he back into the cardboard hokey goalie and knocked it down. Now he was exposed…

"There he is!" he heard a girl shout. "The delicious one!"

To Schnitzel's horror three other girls spotted him and from the opposite side of the aisle that Candy was on. The southern cook too, decided to charge at Schnitzel, her fork raised. The soui chef's mind raced for options. Schnitzel's eyes darted to the side and caught a glance at some climbing equipment. In a desperate move that saved him from the cannibalistic girls, he grabbed a rope with a grappling hook, twirled it, hooked the top of the aisle and shimmied on up the rope to safety.

Scrambling to the top of the aisle stand, Schnitzel made sure that the girls could climb up after him so he ditched the rope. He was safe… NOT!

In a flash of red shimmering powder, the soui chef was engulfed in a cloud of cinnamon. Coughing as the "hot" spice entered his nose, Schnitzel looked up. Standing a couple steps away was Candy, still in her hokey mask but now with an empty shaker of cinnamon.

"I like me a spicy challenge Schnitzel," she told him. "Now, give up. I got y'all cornered."

Schnitzel's eyes widened in terror as Candy stomped toward him.

Meanwhile… Chowder wasn't fairing much better.

He was hiding out in the shoe section. The kitten hoped that the smell of feet would shield his deliciousness. So far, the strategy was working because several of the girls that passed by his hiding spot, didn't see him. Chowder was inside a sports drink display, trying not to drink away his hiding spot.

He suddenly held his breath as Panini passed by the display for the fiftieth time. The pink kitten/rabbit girl was hard to stomach under normal circumstances, but now she was trying to stomach him… literally.

With a low, frustrated growl Panini dashed off to the right, the pitter-patter of her little feet fading into the distance. Chowder gave a breath of relief and climbed out of his hiding spot. Zipping into a shoe stand, Chowder was trying to find a way out of this nightmare.

Then he heard something that sounded like a giggle from a girl. The kitten silenced his breathing for a moment as his hearing sharpened. Chowder waited. Nothing… No! There it was again. Chowder gave a whimper as he heard the giggles growing closer.

Finally, from under the shoe display table he saw the bottom half of Panini's body, dangerously close to his hiding spot. She skipped in a circle, giggling to herself, just within touching range. Chowder held in a scream of terror as he watched the girl.

"Numnums!" Panini cheered in a singsong voice. "Can't you see we were destined for each other?"

Chowder dared not breathe.

"Don't hide from me Candy Paws!" the girl rabbit/kitten cheered. "It's only a matter of time before I find you! I can smell your yumminess!"

Chowder prayed and wished on every lucky star he possessed that she'd just turn and walk away. Unfortunately for him, luck had other ideas for him. To his absolute horror Panini zeroed-in on his hiding spot, walked over to the shoe display table, lifted up the table-cloth and…

"Hi Chowder!" Panini beamed.

Screaming like a baby, Chowder sprinted out from under his hiding place, sprinting like a gazelle down another aisle.

"Come back numnums!" Panini called to him, snatching two shoes from a display and tying the shoe laces together. "I just wanna _eat_ you!"

With the skillful precision of an expert hunter, Panini hurled the shoes aiming for Chowder's feet. The shoe weaponry hit dead on and Chowder crashed to the floor, his legs immobile.

"You look yummy in those shoes Chowder," she voiced, batting her eyelashes as she stalked toward him.

Chowder gave another primal scream as he watched the girl slowly sashay toward him.

"MUNG! SCHNITZEL! ANYONE! _HEEEELP_!" he cried at the top of his lungs.

* * *

R&R! Again, kinda short. More chapters to come and they will be longer. LONG LIVE ROCK!


	5. Cornered Beef Cake

Ohayo Motherhopers! CJzilla here slamming out another chapter to "Goodies"! Now, it's been a long time and it's a short chapter blah, blah, blah. Sue me.

As I stomp all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love on me, hate on me, don't care at all...

* * *

Chowder tried to crawl away from the love-hungry Panini, but his floundering scrambling did nothing to put some distance between him and the girl. Seizing the shoelaces around his feet, Panini yanked him to her and flipped him over like a flapjack. Their noses met and Chowder squirmed like he'd just stepped into the nastiest, squishiest, moldiest fruit… without shoes.

"Get offa me!" Chowder pushed off the girl with his hands.

Panini grabbed his hands and laced her fingers with his. Chowder screamed.

"When you scream, it means you love me," Panini beamed as the boy writhed under her touch.

Then Chowder snapped his mouth shut, hoping to show the love-hungry girl that he in _no_ way, shape or form _liked_ her. Panini's smile shrunk when he wasn't screaming anymore.

"Fine," she glowered, and then smiled like a psycho Cheshire cat. "But I'll savor every inch of your yummy body like I savor moments like this!"

And she wiped out a plastic butter knife. Just when Chowder thought it was curtains, when he'd be playing a harp in the place where there were golden gates and lots of cream cheese, a soccer ball whistled just above his kitten head and beaned Panini in the face. The girl was rocketed off of Chowder and blown down the shoe aisle like a pink, fuzzy blur.

Sitting up and craning around, Chowder caught sight of his unlikely savior. There was Schnitzel, booking it for his life down the same aisle where Chowder had almost become girl-food. Behind him were several women and girls, including Candy, with various sports balls in hand chasing the soui chef. Chowder was relieved to see that he wasn't the only one left.

"Schnitzel! You're alive!" the kitten cheered.

"Radda! Radda radda RA!" Schnitzel frantically waved his hand, motioning for Chowder to get out of the way.

But the kitten couldn't move, on account of the shoelaces tied around his feet. Chowder shook his feet.

"Schnitzel! I'm stuck-!" he cried before he was plucked from the floor by the racing soui chef.

Schnitzel held Chowder like a football as he flew down the aisle.

"Boy, am I glad to see you!" the kitten beamed, looking up at his friend oblivious to the danger they were both in and how close he was to Schnitzel's armpit. "I thought I was gonna be toast!"

Schnitzel kept right on running before his backside was peppered annoyingly with shuttlecocks. It was just a taste of the type of ammunitions the wave of women had. The soui chef's eyes widened in horror as he tore around the aisle's corner and as he did, a volley ball screamed through the air and slammed into a shoe stand. It was totaled. And as flaming debris from the totaled shoe stand rained down from the sky, Schnitzel let out a scream.

"Radda radda ra!" he cried.

"We're not gonna die as long as we're together!" Chowder was elated to not be the only one left.

"Radda RA!" the soui chef gasped.

"Well, that is right… but at least Mung's got a head start if the women get full on us," the kitten voiced scratching his chin.

That didn't help… at… _all_…

Schnitzel tore through the shoe department and was about to run into the camping section when a basketball zipped down the aisle. And as the soui chef picked up one of his feet to take another step, the ball hit the back of his ankle, making him lose his balance. Schnitzel and Chowder fell to the floor in a tangle of kitten and "Radda monster". Their out-of-control tumble came to an abrupt and painful stop when they slammed into the foot of the huge fountain that was in the middle of the sporting goods store.

Without a moment to get up or think, the women behind them tossed half a dozen shoes. The laces tangled around their bodies, rendering them motionless.

"I can't move Schnitzel!" Chowder cried, writhing underneath the shoelaces.

The soui chef couldn't do much either. Both struggled to get loose but the shoes were too tightly wrapped. It was no good and their goose was as good as cooked.

"Oh radda!" Schnitzel gasped as he saw the women stalk toward them.

Candy and Panini led the pack of hungry women.

"Don't you two look yummy!" the girl rabbit/kitten licked her lips.

"Y'all made us work up an appetite chasing y'all!" the southern cook grinned happily. "But it'll be worth it, servin' y'all up with some hushpuppies an' barbecue sauce!"

From behind her back, Candy pulled out a lemon wedge while Panini broke out some flat-leafed parsley.

"NO!" Chowder cried at the parsley in Panini's hand like it was a deadly weapon. "THAT'S JUST FOR GARNISH!!"

The girls neared, one menacing step in front of another, very, very slowly.

"Oh radda! _Raddaraddaraddaraddaradda_!" Schnitzel rattled off, scared out of his mind.

"I know!" Chowder returned. "We're _dead_!"

Now Candy, Panini and the other women were so close, that the southern cook gave her lemon wedge a squeeze. Lemon juice squirted all over Schnitzel and Chowder and Panini tossed her parsley over them. Soui chef and chef's apprentice were wide-eyed as the women closed in for the kill. Schnitzel held his breath as Candy's tongue lapped the side of his face and Chowder whimpered as Panini started chewing on his knit cap.

THIS WAS IT! THE LAST OF THEIR LUCK HAD HIT THE FAN! THERE WAS NO WAY THEY'D-… Hey! Look! There's Mung!

"I'm comin' boys!" Schnitzel and Chowder heard their boss shout from above them.

Chowder gasped.

"Mung's dead! Mung's been eaten by these crazy Gooey Love Day women! He's in the great big kitchen in the sky!" the kitten started bawling. "I wanted so much to tell him that he was the oldest dude I've ever known!"

Schnitzel squirmed under Candy, who was still licking his face. Then from behind them, a huge orange white-water-rafting raft fell into the fountain with a loud splash.

"I'm here guys!" Mung shouted, riding the raft like a surf board as he took one of the raft's paddles and smacked Candy and Panini off of his two employees.

The southern cook and bunny/bear girl flew off of Schnitzel and Chowder, landing in a heap on the crowd of women behind them. Then the executive chef took a pepper-spray hand-grenade, pulled the pin with his teeth and tossed it into the mob of women. A sticky orange cloud exploded from the weapon, keeping the girls at bay long enough for Mung to untie his soui chef and apprentice.

"Boy, Mung! Are we glad to see you!" Chowder cheered as he got to his feet.

"Hold the pleasantries until we're outta this pickle!" the head chef gestured, untying Schnitzel.

"A pickle! WHRE?!" Chowder spun on his heel

"Radda!" Schnitzel grabbed the kitten by his head and took off running after Mung, toward the exit.

The pepper spray would only hold off _that_ bunch of women for a moment. And that's not sayin' anything about the group that was chasing Mung…

"I underestimated our deliciousness boys," Mung stated over his shoulder as he ran toward the exit, in the back of the store. "There's no where we can go without women following us!"

"I refuse to die a food item! _You hear me Mung_?! I refuse to die being someone else's meal!!" Chowder snarled, still tucked under Schnitzel's arm as the soui chef ran.

"Chowder! CALM DOWN!" Mung barked at the kitten. "As long as we have the cacao bean extract and the hairy rose bark on our bodies, we'll be pursued like pork chops! But! If we wash off the two accursed ingredients, we won't be irresistible anymore!"

A silence cut through the conversation as they raced through the mall.

"Radda?... RADDA RA RA _RADDA_ **RAD**!!" Schnitzel blasted.

"Well yes soap and water would do the trick," Mung returned. "And if you have to get technical about it… Yes, we could have just rinsed off at the kitchen. I panicked! I'm human! Forgive me."

Schnitzel, racing along with his boss and the annoying chef's apprentice, the sous chef was close to tripping Mung and leaving him for the women. This whole "running for their lives" thing could have been totally avoided if they just hosed off _at the kitchen_!

"But don't worry!" Mung added. "The Marzipan City Bay is just a short run from here! We can jump in the water and the ladies will stop chasing us!"

The complexity of Mung's mind baffled Chowder and Schnitzel.

"We could have just went to the ocean in the first place, Mung!" Chowder waved his hands in the air. "Why did we go to the mall first?!"

Mung pursed his lips as they flew out of the mall's front doors.

"I honestly thought we'd lose the women in here…" Mung answered. "I guess it wasn't very smart huh?"

"_RADDA_!" Schnitzel flicked Mung's nose with his finger as they raced down the street.

"Well, I call you _stupid_ for listening to me!" Mung returned to his sous chef.

Just then they booked it down a seemingly empty street.

"Where is everyone?" Chowder asked.

"Who cares?" Mung returned. "Just get to the ocean!"

And the three ran through this street and then all of a sudden plowed through a crowd of standing people... They'd just ran into the Gooey Love Day parade. Now they were within walking distance of every woman in the Marzipan City...

This would end poorly.

* * *

R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	6. Dessert

Ohayo Tokyo! Konnich wa New York! Konban wa London! CJzilla here slamming out the last chapter to Goodies. Sad? Don't be. You'll see more of my work floating around FanFiction Land.

Now, in this last chapter Mung, Chowder and Schnitzel find themselves in even HOTTER water. And the ending... I'll let you take care of that. Enjoy!

As I crash through this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Flame or fluff... I don't care.

* * *

And the three ran through this street and then all of a sudden plowed through a crowd of standing people. After creaming a few people, Mung, Chowder and Schnitzel found themselves in the middle of the Marzipan City Main Street. Craning around the three couldn't believe it. Balloons, parade floats, local high school bands and clowns were all around them. They were in the middle of the Gooey Love Day Parade and within grabbing distance to every… single… woman in the city.

"_Oh_, Tooty Booty Beans!" Mung gasped, face going white with fear.

Then right behind them, they heard a gigantic horn. Jumping, Mung, Chowder and Schnitzel turned around to see a HUGE parade float screeching to a stop in an effort to not hit them. They braced for impact. But nothing came. The gigantic festive vehicle stopped, just inches from them.

"Hey MORONS!" came a shrill snarl from the float. "GET YOUR CARCASSES OUTTA-…"

Opening his eyes, Mung saw the huge banner over the float that nearly hit them. "This Year's Gooey Love Day Theme: Women of Gooey Love Day" read the banner. Then he realized that the whole parade consisted of nothing but women and it had stopped dead in front of them. And all eyes of women, who were coming under the influence of the irresistible ingredients on their bodies, were on them.

"Guys," Mung whispered suppressing another girlish scream, glancing around. "Don't look now but we've just landed into the oven."

Schnitzel and Chowder looked up. Their eyes went wide as they saw the all women parade. They held in a scream of terror.

"_Holy_ chick peas! Mung!" Chowder hissed, trying not to scream. "There's every woman in the world here! We'll never make it!"

"**Radda**! _Ra_!" Schnitzel peeped.

"Shh! Don't make any sudden movements…" Mung whispered. "Start making toward the ocean nice and _easy_."

The culinary craftsmen and the apprentice began slowly moving down the street. The women made no movement to follow, but just stared. It looked as if they froze and it was a good thing because then Schnitzel, Chowder and Mung could get away.

But then there was the sound of a stampede from the direction of the mall. Plowing through the shocked parade bystanders, Truffles, Candy, Panini, Endive and the rest of the women from the mall came to a stop in the middle of the street. They tore up the street with their eyes before spotting the sous chef, head chef and chef's apprentice.

"THERE THEY ARE!" Truffles blasted pointing.

"GET THE DELICIOUS ONES!" Endive shouted.

The rest of the women gave a battle cry and ran toward them. Without missing a beat, the boys took to their heels.

"**Book it**!" Mung called to Schnitzel and Chowder. "_The ocean's only five blocks from here_! POUR ON WHATEVER YOU GOT LEFT AND MAKE LIKE A GAZELLE!"

The boys let out several high girly screams as they sprinted toward the ocean.

The sprint to the port couldn't have been longer, but the pier was a welcomed sight.

"LOOK!" Mung cheered, seeing the wooden pier coming up fast. "Faster boys and this nightmare will be _over_!"

But the chef, sous chef and apprentice had ran most of Marzipan City. Their legs were heavy, their lungs were on fire and their underwear was bunched up so tight they could taste it. Suddenly just as he set his plump kitten paw on the pier, Chowder got a crippling stitch in his side. Giving a cry of pain, the kid tumbled. Hearing that the kitten had fallen, Schnitzel and Mung skidded to a stop.

"Chowder!" The head chef screamed. "Get to your feet! C'MON! WE'RE ALMOST THERE!"

But the boy was too tired, too oxygen deprived to move.

"G-g-g-g-o o-o-o-on w-w-w-_without_ m-m-me!" Chowder gave a loud death rattle before he plopped on his face.

Mung and Schnitzel could only watch as the women closed in. They were too far to help him!

"He's dead!" The astonished head chef gasped.

Mung and Schnitzel then growled. They'd come _too far_, ran _too far_, screamed _too long_ to _**just**_ let Chowder be picked apart by Marzipan's female population! Pushing their fear to the back of their minds, the sous and head chef ran toward the fallen kitten-bear-boy.

"Schnitzel, you are a crazy nut," Mung told his sous chef. "And I've had a blast working with you. I only wish we had a better plan than this."

"Radda," Schnitzel nodded, eyes fixed. "Radda radda ra radda ra."

Mung gave his sous chef an angry look.

"Whaddya mean you put _**laxatives in my coffee every morning for the last three years**_?!" the head chef snarled.

But no reasoning force, not even in their own minds, could stop them from what they were going to do. Just as the women were touching Chowder's sweater, Mung and Schnitzel dove into the crowd. Through his exhausted haze, Chowder saw his nutty mentor and Schnitzel dive headfirst into the hungry women. And as they were being swallowed by the mob, he locked eyes with Mung.

"Chowder!" Only the head chef's head and arm was sticking out of the mass of women. "Cannonball!!"

And just like that, he and Schnitzel were gone. But Chowder had no time to grieve.

"Cannonball?" the kitten repeated.

Then it came to him.

"Oh YEAH! _Cannonball_!" Chowder jumped to his feet and raced down the pier.

The pudge-muffin hit Mach 4 and screamed down the dock. Using his last bit of energy, Chowder jumped as high as he could into the air. He hovered above the ocean for a second before he curled into a ball. Chowder hit the water with his butt. At first there was nothing, but a second later, a tsunami force wave blew from the ocean. Its shadow nearly covered the whole city as it struck the beach and the sea of women.

Sea water churned violently for several long seconds before the wave faded. Chowder, quite unharmed, sat on the waterless sea bed with a clueless smile on his face.

"Cannonball!" the kitten cheered before he laughed.

The women, covered in tons of seaweed and the occasional starfish, were now cured of their insatiable hunger for the boys.

"What in the-?" Truffles blinked, looking around.

The Mushroom Pixie's eyes then came to Mung, looking very chewed on, in Ms. Endive's arms. Truffles seethed and then began kicking the candy out of Endive. Speaking of candy, our favorite southern cook groaned, shaking the stars from her head.

"Mama o' mighty," Candy wondered. "What's goin' on? Why am I all wet?"

Then she heard a groan from under her butt. Looking down, the southern cook's mouth fell open when she saw that she was sitting on Schnitzel.

"Oh!" Candy gasped, hopping off the sous chef. "Schnitzel! Honey, are y'all all right?"

He was missing teeth, looked beaten and he was so exhausted from running he fought a blackout. But when Schnitzel felt Candy grab his hand and pull him to his feet, he knew everything was all right.

Meanwhile Chowder hopped up onto the beach after plucking a fish or two from out of his sweater.

"Now THAT was a cannonball worthy of a record book!" the kitten proclaimed proudly.

Mung, beaten and eaten but very alive. The head chef cheered.

"Chowder!" Mung through his arms in the air. "You saved us with a massive butt splash! Way to go!"

Chowder beamed and then coughed up an octopus.

"Hi Chowder!" Panini zipped over to Chowder and hugged him.

In light of all they've been through a simple little hug wasn't so bad, but to the boy it didn't matter. Chowder shrieked and zipped onto Schnitzel's head. He hissed like a cornered cat, arching his back and pawing the air.

"I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!" the kitten-bear-boy blasted back.

Schnitzel sighed as Panini ran around his legs giggling while Chowder cried on his head.

"Mung Daal!" Truffles glared at her husband, just after she finished beating up Endive. "What's going on?!"

The Mushroom Pixie's unpleasant, shrill, mean demeanor was back! Mung gave a joyful cry as he wrapped his arms around his wife.

"Truffles! Baby! You're back to being as nasty as a monster trashing Tokyo!" the head chef blurted out swinging Truffles in a circle.

Truffles was taken aback by her husband.

"What happened?!" she barked. "Why can't I remember anything? And why is every woman in the city here?"

Truffles pushed her husband. Mung again zipped to his wife and hugged her.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told ya, baby," the head chef beamed. "I'm just glad you're back to your same ol', Hydra-self!"

Truffles grasped Mung's mustache and yanked him to her eye level.

""_Hydra_"?" The Mushroom Pixie hissed through clinched teeth and Mung thought he saw her tongue fork. "Brother… I can make the Hydra _cry_."

And Mung then suffered an iron skillet across his face much to the dismay of onlookers. The head chef came to a stop in a wave of sand about a football field away. Even though he had a mild concussion and most of his face was busted in, Mung managed a broken smile.

"It's good to be back to normal," the head chef grinned.

Cut to about two hours and a nine thousand dollar cab ride later, the Mung Daal Catering Company gang arrived at their battered building. Doors were knocked in and silverware of all sizes lay everywhere. In short, it looked like a bomb went off in the kitchen and hosting area.

"Sweet Mississippi!" Candy gasped as she saw the kitchen. "Look at all the damage! Y'all sure me an' Auntie Truffles did this?"

Mung nodded.

"If I'm not mistaken, Truffles had the steak knife and you had the… Schnitzel, what did Candy have?" The head chef turned to his sous chef, scratching his chin.

Schnitzel glared at the southern cook.

"Radda ra," he answered.

Candy gasped, hands clapped over her mouth.

"A flippin' _crowbar_?!" The southern cook repeated.

Both Chowder and Schnitzel nodded as they pointed to the busted pantry doors. Again Candy gasped.

"I was a monster!" The southern cook cried at the top of her lungs. "Mung, Schnitzel, Chowder? I'm so sorry!"

Candy darted around hugging Chowder and Mung and a strangely pink Schnitzel. Truffles huffed.

"I've seen worse," the Mushroom Pixie shrugged.

"What?!" Mung yelled. "It looks like we lost an argument with a platoon of commandos! What's wrong with you?"

Still, the woman kept a neutral face.

"You remember that time I lost the back of my earring?" Truffles folded her arms.

Mung's eyes gazed at the ceiling.

"I hear they have a plaque of that day at the firehouse!" Chowder cheered.

Truffles nodded.

"But this looks pretty high up there," the Mushroom Pixie began to float out of the room. "So I suggest you START CLEANING! Candy, you come with me."

Everyone flinched at the decibel Truffles' voice hit. Only the boys stood alone in the kitchen. Mung sighed contently.

"I never thought I'd be happy to hear that woman's shrill voice again," the head chef smiled.

Schnitzel grumbled and grabbed a broom. Then Mung looked to Chowder.

"You've earned a big rest, Chowder," Mung patted the kitten on the head. "You saved the day after all."

"But I'm not even tired-!" Chowder complained.

"GO TO BED!" The head chef blasted, pointing a finger toward the kitten's bedroom.

Chowder flew out of the room and up to his bedroom like a lightning bolt.

Mung wiped his brow before he got a mischievous look on his face.

"Whew," he panted. "Now to get rid of Schnit-… Hey! Schnitzel _what_ are you doing with that?!"

The sous chef jumped and hid what he was doing behind his back.

"R-r-radda ra," he nervously by coyly answered.

Mung stomped over to him.

"My _foot_ if you're sweeping over by the table!" The head chef returned, seeing Schnitzel's broom leaning against the table.

Schnitzel started to sweat.

"Radda RA!" The sous chef was making excuses.

"Oh _cow pie_!" Mung sarcastically snapped back. "I know what you're really doing over here!"

"Ra ra," Schnitzel returned, getting defensive.

"Uh huh!" Mung glared at his sous chef.

"Ra ra!"

"Uh huh!"

"Ra ra!"

"Uh _HUH_!"

"_Ra_ **RA**!"

But before more arguing could continue, Mung grabbed what Schnitzel was hiding behind his back. He was holding the bottle of Rose Bark Extract. Mung looked carefully at his sous chef. Schnitzel chuckled nervously, shrugging and sweating some more.

"Uh… Radda radda… Um… rad radda…?" He was lying through his teeth.

Mung glared at him.

"Now I _know_ you weren't using this extract to clean with," the head chef scolded. "I'm not **that** stupid! I'm disappointed in you Schnitzel. Looking for some more Hairy Rose Bark Extract and Belchen choco-licious cacao beans to put on yourself! I didn't know you'd sink this low to grab Candy's attention!"

Schnitzel fell on his knees, pleading with his boss.

"Radda _radda_ ra rad radda **rad**?" The sous chef begged.

Mung was unmovable.

"I know just a little bit of both ingredients will make you irresistible to Candy, but that's not right," the head chef folded his arms as Schnitzel pouted. "Now, go clean up, AWAY from the bark extract and choco-licious essence."

Obeying, Schnitzel moped off with the broom and began sweeping away from the table.

"Sucker," Mung giggled under his breath.

Tipping the bottle the head chef slightly wet his finger with the Hairy Rose Bark Extract. A choco-licious smudge, in the shape of one of Chowder's paw marks, Mung wiped up with another finger. Just as he was about to rub the two together, he was caught.

"Radda!" Schnitzel stomped over to his boss. "Radda _ra radda ra_!"

Mung rolled his eyes.

"Yes, well, I call you stupid for listening to me," the head chef returned.

Schnitzel glared at the older man before snatching the bottle of Hairy Rose Bark Extract. Dripping a little on his finger and a smudge of a smear of the Belchen choco-licious essence, Schnitzel mixed the wee bits of ingredients together. So did Mung. They dabbed the irresistible ingredients behind their ears and let loose a wily smile.

"Hey Candy! Truffles! We have something to show you!" Mung called to the girls.

Not even two seconds later, the Mushroom Pixie and southern cook came busting into the kitchen.

"_Oo_!" Candy was once again under the influence of the irresistible ingredients and she eyed Schnitzel. "I see somethin' big an' sweet that'll melt in my mouth an' not in my hand!"

Schnitzel blushed.

"And I see me a hunky side of beef cake!" Truffles cheered, under the influence of the ingredients on Mung's body.

"Then come get a piece, puddin'," Mung gave his wife a saucy smile.

Both Schnitzel and Mung motioned for the women to bring it on. Truffles tackled her open-armed husband and Candy dove onto a smiling Schnitzel. All four people crashed to the floor.

Chowder wandered out of his room rubbing the sleep from his eyes, curious to all the weird sounds coming from downstairs. His eyes bugged at the sight.

"THE GIRLS HAVE GONE MAD **AGAIN**!!" the kitten cried at the top of his lungs. "CURSE YOU GOOEY LOVE DAY MADNESS! _**CURSE YOU**_!"

End

* * *

It's been a scream boys and girls! CJzilla parts with these last words: R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK N' ROLL!


End file.
